


scars (some we can't see)

by AslansCompass



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Irondad, Ned Leeds - Freeform, morgan stark - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 22:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20983685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AslansCompass/pseuds/AslansCompass
Summary: title from Star Wars Rebels 3x06  "The Last Battle"-- "Battles leave scars. Some you can't see."It's been roughly a year since the Avengers defeated Thanos.  This should be the best summer of Peter's life. But it's hard to put the past behind him, especially when people keep bringing it up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [heartofcathedrals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartofcathedrals/gifts).

  
It had started at graduation. During MJ's speech, as if that wasn't bad enough. He'd been fine through the processional, the band/choral numbers, and the superintendent's welcome. True, the auditorium was chilly; he was sick of "Pomp and Circumstance;" and his stomach was growling, but hey, you only graduate high school once

  
".... as we move forward..."

  
shattering, broken, pieces, screamingscreamingscreaming, **SNAP** alien sky, don'twannago, "I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go. Mister Stark, please! Please, I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go... I'm sorry..."

  
"Hey, Peter. Peter?" Someone touched his shoulder. "Peter, man! Peter, it's Ned!"

  
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Focus. Graduation, speech, MJ--Peter's eyes flipped open.

  
"You okay?" Ned asked. "You zoned out, man."

  
"Oh... yeah, right. " Peter glanced around. "I just... memories, that's all. Memories."

* * *

  
Spider-Man was back, but his 'friendly neighborhood' felt a lot smaller these days. Even with all the Snap victims returned, not everyone had made it through the interim unscathed. Some had died in Snap-related accidents or the ensuing shortages. Some had moved to other neighborhoods. And some were just....different.

  
Even the criminals were cautious at first. The ones that had escaped the Snap quarreled with the returning thugs; turf wars simmered in the summer heat. So Peter tried to make the most of it: preventing traffic accidents, stopping pickpockets, emptying trash cans, that kind of thing. Sometimes he didn't see a single crime his whole shift. 

So one day, after he'd found helped reunite a lost preschooler with a frazzled daycare instructor, he swung down to Central Park for some practice. Trees are harder to swing from than buildings--the irregular shapes require more precision. 

White clouds flickered to grey; the heavens poured.Peter landed and ran for cover. No point risking lightning strikes. 

Peter could hear the soft _ploush_ of raindrops on leaves; the distant chittering of squirrels and the steady rumble of traffic. Not a single person in sight.

_alone. _air thin; hard to breathe. Air. air. breathe. _alone._

painpainpain everywhere _terror_

* * *

  
"...so, supper tomorrow. Chinese? Pizza? Chinese pizza?"

  
Peter moaned.

  
"Oh, okay, so no Chinese pizza. Just as well; can you imagine the internet's response to that cultural mashup? Enchiladas? Tomato bisque?"

  
That voice--he knows that voice--"Mr. Stark?"

  
"Peter? Oh, good, kid, you can hear me? You're in Central Park; nobody's trying to take over the world or anything. "

  
"What are you doing here?"

  
"Distress call."

  
"What? I didn't--" The world blurred before his eyes. Peter blinked. Central Park, right. That's what Mr. Stark said.

  
"The suit automatically sends an alert when certain thresholds are reached.What was going on? Why didn't you tell me?"

  
"Oh, um... nothing, really." He inhaled slowly. "I didn't want to bother you---it hasn't been this bad-- it just started-- and anyway--"

  
"Peter--"

"Please," Peter whispered. "Please, I can't--"

  
"Fine. Go home, get some ice cream or something. But we will talk about this. We're still on for supper tomorrow, remember?"

* * *

  
Peter spent the next twenty-four hours trying to come up with an excuse to skip dinner. Hanging out with Ned, helping a neighbor with repairs, finding someone's missing pet--but May would have none of it. Maybe Stark had got her in on it.

  
At least they didn't know what "it" was. He hadn't actually said anything. Even Karen--wait, Karen still recorded everything. With that information and a quick google search--Peter's hands shook.

No, no. He couldn't think about that.

  
Supper went by far too quickly. Morgan talked about her junior tai chi class ("like super-slow boxing") and summer coding class ("way too easy,") but Peter could barely crack a grin. He lingered over dessert, chasing each individual blueberry with a fork.

* * *

Stark didn't even close the lab door before he got started. "Look, I'm not good with the whole touchy-feel thing. But I've gotten better about it; with Morgan, at least. Read a couple of books about it."

  
"Thought you'd just download an app."

  
"Tried. Ended up with a few bruises. On me, not Morgan." Tony frowned. "Also, I've hosted a few support groups recently. And there's one phrase all this stuff has in common. 'You aren't alone.'"

  
"What's that supposed to mean? All what stuff?"

  
"Emotional stuff. Brain stuff. You know, it was this big trendy thing five years ago, well, five years ago for me. Speaking out about depression and bipolar disorder and all that stuff---mental health, that's it! Anyway, the point is, that no matter how isolated you feel, no matter what you're going through, someone else has been there."

  
Peter scoffed.

  
"Okay, maybe not that exact situation, not all the time. But all this," Tony waved his hand. "Everything you just told me: confusion, lost time, re-adjusting--everyone went through that. Thanos destroyed half the world. Not half of Queens, not half of New York, not just half the planet. Half the universe. Walk up to any stranger on the street, you've got a fifty percent chance they're dealing with the exact same shit."

  
"But they're all fine--Ned and May and MJ, they're doing fine. They don't go to pieces like this. And I'm Spider-Man, I'm an Avenger; I shouldn't--"

  
"Shouldn't what? Be scared? Scared is normal. Hell, scared is healthy! You wanna know how we felt, all those years ago in New York, Chiatri battle cruisers overhead? Terrified. Absolutely terrified. Cap, Widow, Thor, all of us. Even Hulk. "

  
"That doesn't exactly make me feel better."

  
"I told you, talking's not my strong point. But there is one thing I can do." Tony handed Peter a radio chip. "Personal line."

  
"I've already got Karen--"

  
"This isn't for the suit. It's for you. Peter Parker, one of the snap returnees. Anytime you need to talk to me--and I mean anytime, day or night--just call. I can't promise I'll make sense, but I can talk. Ramble on about the weather, suit upgrades, whatever comes to mind, just so you know that you're not alone."

  
Peter took the device and slide it into his ear. "Thanks."

* * *

  
"Sorry I'm late," Peter apologized as Ned opened his apartment door. "Didn't sleep well last night. Kept dreaming about it." There's no need to spell out what he's referring to. They both know.

  
"Me too, sometimes." Ned shrugged. "Sometimes it's just weird, though. Like, instead of taking half the people, he took half of everyone's bodies. The right half. So everyone was walking around with one arm, one leg, one side of their face. Perfectly normal otherwise."

  
Peter followed Ned to the living room. The floor was covered with carefully sorted Lego pieces and a carefully displayed box.

  
"The Taj Mahal? Thought you were going for the Millennial Falcon this time?"

  
"Yeah, well, I've had enough of space stuff for a while." Ned opened the booklet.

  
They fell into an easy rhythm, grabbing pieces and snapping them together. Slowly, the white dome took shape.

  
"Got any plans?"

  
"For summer, or the rest of my life?" Ned rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me you're getting those lectures too."

  
"Naw, May's been pretty chill about it."

  
"Wish my parents would take the hint. Pressuring me to apply to schools, sign up for things--'making up for lost time,' they say. Like I'm really gonna get five years back. Like any of us are." Ned crunched two pieces together.

* * *

Talking was supposed to to fix it, right? But he'd had more attacks in the two weeks since than the previous month. And he wasn't going to call Mr. Stark every six seconds. At least this time they'd gone (Peter stole a look at the lab clock) twenty-three minutes before asking. It had only been five minutes last time.

"Yeah, I'm doing fine. Not the best, but okay."

"Cut the crap." Stark flipped his welding mask down. "I know you've had more attacks than you let on." 

"But--how--" Karen, of course it was Karen--

"I didn't need Karen for that. It's not that easy to turn around."

"What do you know about it?" Peter demanded. "Just a few hours of light reading and you've got it all figured out, huh?"

"More like six years." Stark set down his project and took off the mask. "After New York, I kind of went a little crazy. Couldn't sleep, forgot to eat. The smallest things would set me off. Kid in a restaurant asked how I escaped the wormhole and I thought I was dying."

"And just before that fight in Germany, Wanda messed with my mind--that was bad. Made me see my worst fear."

  
"Which was...."

  
"We'd lost. We'd brought all our strength against an unimaginable foe and we'd lost. " Stark laughed dryly. "But it happened after all. Thanos came and we lost."

"Oh, I still had nightmares. Panic attacks. Waking up was just a different kind of torture. The worst had happened; I survived. Didn't leave much time for worrying."

  
"I remember it." The words slipped out before Peter could stop himself. "Nobody else does. I've asked that much, at least. May, Ned, even Flash--they don't remember it. One minute there, then gone. But I remember. That alien planet, seeing the others...."

  
"Did it hurt?"

  
"No, not exactly--that is--like, just before you slip on ice or fall down stairs, that moment when you know it's gonna hurt but you can't stop it and it goes on forever--" Peter's hands started to tremble. "Only with the spider-sense--it was screaming and everywhere and--"

  
He put a hand on Peter's shoulder. "Hey, hey, I gotcha, I gotcha, I'm here, just listen, I'm not going anywhere--"

  
Peter nodded. "I know, I know--" He reached up and took Stark's hand, squeezing tightly. "I know. Then I was back and we were still fighting and--" his voice broke off.

  
"It's not going back to normal, kid," Stark said. "But I made a promise to Pepper, and Morgan, and I'm making it to you too. As long as I'm in this world, we're in it together. "


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus scene

  
"....As animal musicians began to play, the Beast appeared. Beauty drew back, frightened, but the Beast's courtly manners disarmed her fears," Tony pointed at the image. "What kind of animals are they?"

  
"That's a deer!" Morgan exclaimed. "And a wolf and an otter. They look so funny in clothes."

  
"Well, that's what people wore a long time ago," Tony's explanation was cut off by a faint buzz. He glanced down at the phone in his hand.

> _ Karen has activated her distress beacon. _

  
"Peter, what have you done this time?" He turned to Morgan. "Looks like your big brother's got himself into trouble again. Maybe you could have Mommy finish the story."

  
Morgan shook her head. "You're better."

  
"Aww, thanks." Tony addressed the home AI. "Anna, tell Pepper I went on a quick test flight, worked out some bugs on the newest armor. Shouldn't take too long."

  
"Of course, sir." ANNA responded. 

  
Tony stepped out onto the balcony, ignoring the light drizzle. "SUSE, summon the Mark 87 and plot a course to Spider-Man's last known location."

In less than a minute, he was flying toward Central Park. "C'mon, I need more information. Suse, patch me through to Karen's sensors." The visor filled with readings.

> _ Heart palpitations, increased perspiration.... no indications of a physical altercation._

"Patch me through to his cameras."

  
Tony couldn't tell what he was looking at. The image was only blurry grey. Even switching to the wide-angle view didn't help. He dismissed the feed and continued following the map. 

  
He slowed down as he reached 94th Street, gently gliding to a stop by the Gothic Bridge. A small red and black bundle lay at the base. "Peter? Peter, you okay?" Stupid question.

He removed his armor. "Peter, Peter, listen to me. Can you hear me? Whatever you're seeing, whatever you're going through, it's not real. It's not happening right now." 

  
Peter didn't respond. He stared into the distance, eyes blank. 

  
Tony placed both hands on Peter's shoulders. "It's a warm, rainy day. I was at home, reading Morgan a story. Beauty and the Beast, with some of the most beautiful illustrations. And what were you doing out here? Looking for a hot dog stand? Cause I got to tell you, I thought you were more of a hoagie guy. Looking to shake things up a little? I get that, always up for something new. But nothing wrong with the old favorites, either."

  
"Heart rate returning to normal," Suse announced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Tony has (at least) two more AIs. ANNA stands for Automated Natal Nurturing Assistant; SUSE is short for Snap Undone, Saved Everyone.


End file.
